January 2010
58 posts
look up to the sky
I just want to scream! I hate all of this. I really do. Come on, can’t I just settle down? What even happened. I will always remember. But I know why this didn’t work out, and I blame myself for it. I didn’t expect this to be what it really was. And this year was just a bunch of unmet expectations— so maybe that’s why I’m so bitter. I did choose you, but it just...
you make me feel
I really hate using correct grammar when I blog. I just think it’s stupid. And I feel like the words don’t flow as eloquently. But I am doing it anyways because I’m serious! If that makes any sense…
Well. Instead of giving up, I think I just decided to start over. Which really makes sense. I spent too long trying to do something I didn’t want to do, and being someone...
sicksicksick
ugh. i hate school. i hate finals. i hate being sick. i hate hate hate everything.
i’m trying my best not to freak out.
and the whole time i can’t help but think:
was it worth it?
friends.
i hate how cliche people are with friends. especially their girlfriends. you know how every cliche group of girls has their “bffs” and they do everything together? i never really had something like that. and i never really wanted something like that…
but this week i really got to see each one of my “girlfriends” in a different light. just the way they care about me,...
“Among other things, you’ll find that you’re not the first person who was ever...”
– J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye
“One day I will find the right words, and they will be simple.”
– Jack Kerouac (The Dharma Bums) (via quote-book)
q&a!
01. Who was your last text from? erik andersen. 02. Where was your default picture taken? my living room 03. Your relationship status? siiiingle 04. Have you ever lost a close friend? if you mean they passed away, then no i don’t think so. if you mean they are no longer my friend, then yes. 05. What is your current mood? not too happy, not too sad. 06. Do you love your mother? ...
I wanted you to stay Cause I needed to hear you say That I love you I have loved you all along And I forgive you For being away for far too long So keep breathing ‘Cause I’m not leaving you anymore Hold on to me and, never let me go
photo by
~vetters
5 steps to a 5
i got the book today. and i am excited to study this shit.
and i’m kinda excited because i have to get at least a 47% on econ to get a B in the class…i’ve gotten lower before— so we still need to study a little bit! haha.
and i need to do VERY well on stats and physics so i can get a B ):
slacking off is not ok.
“Only when we eat up this planet will God give us another. We’ll be remembered...”
– Chuck Palahniuk (Invisible Monsters) (via roaringxrainbow) (via quote-book)
Woke up and wished that I was dead.
cowpiesurprise:
With an aching in my head, I lay motionless in bed. I thought of you and where you’d gone, and let the world spin madly on.
Whoa, nostalgia.
love the weepies (:
i wanted something
that’s purer than the water. like we were.
i start most of my thoughts with “goddamn…” and i completely hate it. i never used to say that— until this year started.
i tried to tell you before you left but i was screaming under my breath “you are the only thing that makes sense” just ignore all this present tense
it was never real…it was just a...
star post-its
i woke up this morning, and i just couldn’t get out of bed. i am not that tired…but something about today just made me want to go back to sleep. on sundays, my mother typically writes me a list of chores. this has been going on since i was in about 6th grade. they usually are the same every week; 1. clean the bathroom 2. pick up the clothes in your room 3. vacuum the downstairs 4....
“It’s just that I don’t want to be somebody’s crush. If somebody likes me, I want...”
– Perks of Being a Wallflower (via poignant) (via quote-book)
mmmkay. time to grow some balls and MAN UP. why is this so hard? i’m usually really good at this kinda stuff… i think it’s what ruth said… it’s a new thing…so it’s a bit intimidating. buuuuut don’t worry y’all. it’s me. (:
he gives me goosebumps!
The Greatest Relationships
yummyxbobasaur:
jennnnnaaay:
daaangapril:
alybreezy:
bradkynloveswinter:
The greatest relationships are the ones you never expected to be in. The ones that swept you off your feet and challenged every view you’ve ever had. The ones where you found yourself being a better person because of who you were when they were around. The ones that made you wake up every morning with a smile on...
celebration guns
the last thing they remember
okay. i’m going to work on some homework today before shave ice party. i have some focus questions due on thursday…and i’ve learned that putting them off until the last night is NOT okay. haha…i hate all-nighters.
so far, i’ve felt a lot better than before. i do feel relaxed, and occasionally, i feel stressed…but it kinda goes...
i am parting my hair down the middle for awhile.
spent some good time at my auntie’s house today. and nina’s birthday was pretty fun. for the hour i was there! shave ice party tmrwwwwww. yum.
“We loved with a love that was more than love.”
– Edgar Allan Poe
lower it down
so where do we go?
(: three day weekends are always the best.
do you bounce bounce bounce around?
bring it down bring it down.
(:
therealmunkyboy: you are a pretty awesome person kt
therealmunkyboy: though not as awesome as me
ktedwardss: HAHAHAHAHA
therealmunkyboy: dont forget either of those things
i feel a bit more calm
from what i was during lunch.
i want to do something spontaneous.
what you got is hard to find i think about it all the time
maaan
i feel kinda lame right now. i don’t knooow. i just don’t really get it. a lot is going on that i’m just like…frustrated and defeated. on another note; i get way too into sports. because then i start getting really butthurt when we lose. especially when the other team is filled with assssshoooles. and i feel bad for our team…cause as dumb as it sounds, i really like...
what you got is hard to find
i think about it all the time
SHOOOOOOOOOOT ME
YOUR LOVE YOUR LOVE YOUR LOVE IS MY DRUG
HER SONGS ARE SO DAMN CATCHY.
shoooooot me
i actually like ke$ha. her music seems fun to dance too.
UGHHHHHHH I WANNA DIE SHE ISN’T EVEN A REAL ARTIST SHE’S JUST SOME AUTO-TUNED WHOOOOORE!
but i refuse to download animal because as long as it’s not on my ipod i’m still safe.
“I am not into the idea of being without you.”
– Around the Clock, The Rocket Summer
my nose is dry
i do this to myself, really.
i tried so hard to keep this fire burning.
but now i’m just tired.
and i don’t know what’s worse—
losing my faith
or not wanting to get it back
I’M A LITTLE BIT LIKE WHAT THE HECK RIGHT NOW.
I DON’T WANT TO CARE BUT I DO.
rhythm heaven
i’m addicted again!
the winter sports pep rally is going to be really stupid.
but it’s okay i don’t care.
i realized what i wanted and now i’m going to try and get it.
i’m finally ready.
is it normal to be completely nervous?
he's just not that into you
that was really an amazing movie. i’m not the type who gets into chick flicks… but seriously… i feel like falling in love.
i am falling in love…with motion city soundtrack. over and over again. actually, we’ve been dating since 2006.
i am going to try something new.
i’m going to do homework and study tonight. proactive. despite how every single nerve in my...
pourquoi
why am i so tired all the time?
my legs, back, head, EVERYTHING aches.
i’m going to sleep early.
i feel like throwing up.
i shouldn’t have eaten so much junk food today.
my body isn’t made to handle it.
the best thing i can give to you
vyvian:
ktedwards:
is for me to go, leave you alone.
you got growing up to do.
goddamn i love jason reeves. he is so soothing. life is way too busy. sometimes i think that i actually like busy work— like homework or cleaning— just because it serves as a distraction from my real problems. i have to get a CT scan. the pain spread to my lower abdomen. every time i wake up with pain, i can’t...
keep the light on
my first day back was in routine. well. i guess we can only hope for the best and that life starts getting better. damn my complicated mind. i have to focus on things that are important. uughhhhhhhhhhhhijustwanttoscream.
the best thing i can give to you
is for me to go, leave you alone.
you got growing up to do.
goddamn i love jason reeves. he is so soothing. life is way too busy. sometimes i think that i actually like busy work— like homework or cleaning— just because it serves as a distraction from my real problems. i have to get a CT scan. the pain spread to my lower abdomen. every time i wake up with pain, i can’t help...
goodbye winter break, hello school...
monicale:
highlight of my weekend before school: hiding behind a car and a trash can with kt edwards and breaking our cover by laughing!
sadly, winter break is over. january will roll around ending the month with finals and grades. -sigh- is it just me or is senior year going by super fast? it just felt like i started school. i wish winter break was a week longer but i do miss going to school....
sunday evening
prion:
ktedwards:
i just finished activating all my UC and CSU accounts. i freaked for a good hour because my schools haven’t recieved my SAT score reports yet, but i am one day away from the 3 week shipment estimation. so, i stopped worrying.
so far, i’ve only been accepted to CSUN, which is strange, because i thought they sent acceptances feb 1st. whatever.
i still have my stats homework...